Fearlessness & My Better Brain
“Fearlessness means taking the first step even if you don’t know where it will take you. It means being driven by a higher purpose, rather than by applause. It means knowing that you reveal your character when you stand apart, more than when you stand with the crowd.”
Chadwick Boseman - Real Life Superhero
I have believed myself to be fearless for as long as I can remember. As I get older, it is a slightly different breed of fearlessness – I am no longer skydiving or riding roller coasters or going to a New Orleans house of horrors on Halloween (never again!). My approach is not to prove to others how fearless I am through physical feats. Instead, it is maintaining my integrity and values through difficult situations. And it is more about trusting that my gut instincts will guide me well.
The human intestinal lining has something like 100 million neurons that are constantly ‘talking’ to our brains. I watched a documentary years ago that showed a side by side visual comparison to our intestines and our brains – they look similar – and the gut has been described as our second brain. Sometimes I feel like my gut is my better brain!
There have been countless instances where I went against my initial, instinctual gut feeling and EVERY SINGLE TIME I regretted it. Some of these instances of regret have been in business situations. And I would ask myself what I would have done if the same thing happened in the ‘streets’ – outside of a work situation? Would I have permitted the treatment or the statement or the action? The answer was always the same (NO). While my approach and words, body language and tone may be different at work than it would be outside of work, I have grown a lot more confident when my gut tells me that something is amiss and I should be vocal about it.
I can recall my first big meeting after I had finally made it ‘to the table’. I had built up in my mind what this moment would look like – the room, the people in it – the actual table…(it was nothing at all like the powerful and badass visions in my dreams, but I’ll write about that at a later date). Majority of the meeting was filled with the most senior person speaking to the rest of us, but there came a moment when feedback was asked to be given. I had feedback, but since I was new, I didn’t initially speak. As others casually shared their thoughts, I felt my body literally heating up and a nervousness grumbling in my stomach. A theme became clear to me: here we are, with our big titles, in this big room discussing issues that impact the teams – many of whom do not have big titles and are not invited to sit at the table in the room. And I was hit with the realization that EVERYONE in this room, at this table had been invited to tables for the better part of their careers – and had not been part of ‘the people’ for at least a decade. The perceptions were skewed by the privilege of having been at the table for so damn long! I was the new one, who just a few weeks prior was part of ‘the people’. Everything in my gut was telling me “OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND SPEAK!” But my head was saying “girl, these people JUST extended the invite, don’t fuck this up and say something that gets you dropped from the next one!”.
I went with my gut. I passionately shared my unpopular, ‘of the people’ feedback with the group – shaky voice and all. There was a pause and a silence – slight dissonance – I shared facts to back up my feedback – we moved on. It felt good. I don’t worry much anymore about being the only one in the room with a different view or thought. And I am working hard each day to stay grounded in fearless trust of my gut instincts!
