Unsolicited…
“When people mistake unreliable introspection for genuine self-knowledge, the result can be an illusion of superiority over other people, for example when each person thinks they are less biased and less conformist than the rest of the group.”
- Unknown
I listen to an NPR podcast called Hidden Brain and a recent episode ‘The Double Standard’ gave me a bit of insight into how humans think and process information. It is easy for us to identify bias in others, especially when we have differing views, however we do not readily/easily identify our own bias, in fact, some of us even deny that bias exists. The host this week spoke with Psychologist Emily Pronin who has coined the term ‘introspection illusion’: a cognitive bias in which people wrongly think they have direct insight into the origins of their mental states, while treating others' introspections as unreliable.
Whoa! Right?
It got me thinking about a recent instance where I shared a complete, finalized, pre-vetted, already critiqued and edited by the people deemed most relevant and knowledgable to the subject matter, project with a group of people as an FYI and because we share new opportunities within our team. I clearly and intentionally did NOT ask for any feedback, input or opinion, yet several of these people felt it necessary to almost overload me with their ‘thoughts’, visual edits, alternate word choices and repagination notes.
What is it in some people that makes them believe everyone around them is hungry for their guidance and direction? Before I listened to the aforementioned podcast and read more about introspection illusion, I already felt that it was some sense of misplaced superiority. Especially when the unsolicited advice or guidance comes from someone who you absolutely KNOW, with 100% certainty, does not have the qualified insight or knowledge about what they’re attempting to school you on - respectfully.
I encounter this more frequently than I care to. Whether it’s someone with a terrible sense of style volunteering their unasked-for tips on what shoe I SHOULD have paired my dope ass dress with…or the colleague – who is usually male – offering up their notes “in case there’s something in here you find helpful”. It’s not helpful. It’s not appreciated. It’s disrespectful. And I am going to put to practice a hyper conscious effort to ensure that before I offer up my opinion, guidance, feedback - it’s clear that it has been solicited.
Let’s ask people if they want our input before making brash assumptions that what we have to say about their work or their situation would be valued or appreciated. And if you volunteer your unsolicited advice and it isn’t well received – don’t be surprised!
